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Old 06-28-2018, 07:40 AM   #1
stephie
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How should I convince my mother?

I am a student at UBC, Vancouver. I stay with my mom's friends house as a paying guest. My mom doesn't like me staying at a hostel. That's why she put me here at her friend's house. Her friend, Jamie likes me very much. Since she doesn't have any kids, she treats me like her daughter. At the beginning it was okay, it was not that hard for me to stay at her house. I had full freedom and she treated me very well. I was able to be a great company for her. Everything was fine. But now, when I think about the situation, it has changed a lot. My studies are getting harder and I feel like I need my friends to help for studying and finishing projects and works, I need to stay at the hostel with my friends. My mom is very worried about my health. I just want to convince my mother that the hostel accommodations and UBC campus food menu are comfortable for me. I feel like the hostel is a good option for me since I need to depend on my friends for completing the work. I don't know how I shall convince her my mother. It's not only about my mother I also need to tell this to Jamie. Jamie will definitely become sad. How shall I manage this situation?
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Old 06-28-2018, 10:50 AM   #2
Pat McDonald
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Mother's cannot be convinced, they are pretty much preset to believe that without their intervention on every single subject, their children will spontaneously explode.

So don't bother trying. It's your life, when you reach adulthood you get to make your own choices and can ignore the whining mosquito hums, guilt trips, pathetic sad dramas to your "better nature" and endless drivel advice.

Instead, you can get your fix of pathos from agony aunt magazines, TV shows etc.

And when your technology breaks down, who will you be calling? Your mother? Did she ever fix anything or just "went out and bought a new one"?

My God, we've got mountain sized floating dumps of plastic in the oceans to deal with, and you are so BOTHERED about what your mother thinks, does, says, etc?

Sure, when you were a baby breastfeeding, you had to. You aint' that baby. Only to your mother, you still are a baby that needs total care and attention.
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Old 06-30-2018, 12:19 PM   #3
Pat McDonald
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OK, a bit more positive - you can REASSURE females, and that's usually the best route to calm anxiety in females (from a male perspective like mine). You can show EVIDENCE indicating you have a viable alternative to their "best" way.

But the only person that can convince your mother is... your mother. Which, as I've already indicated, is usually a complete waste of time even trying.

I would guess Dad's can be that way too, I wouldn't know. Brit Dads are typically so henpicked and dominated by women that they need convincing just to take part in a debate.
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Beware virii that hide in signatures. Nasty, nasty hackers out there. Usually they appear in Personal Messages, not on a forum.

You think I don't know. Well, maybe you're wrong. Maybe I'm wrong.

But assuming you are always right always puts you in the wrong.

Because assume just makes an ass of u and me.
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Old 07-29-2018, 11:50 AM   #4
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Do what makes you happy
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Old 09-22-2018, 05:58 AM   #5
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Don't think of others reaction. Do what makes you happy. If you think it's good for you to stay at the hostel then it's your decision. Your mom will feel a little bad but after all, it's about you and your studies.
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