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Old 02-13-2018, 11:16 AM   #1
kerryclark
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Dad diagnosed with liver cirrhosis due to excessive alcohol consumption!!

My dad is diagnosed with liver cirrhosis recently. The doctor said that it is due to his excessive alcohol consumption. The doctor asked him to stop his drinking habit, but he still drinks. He has been drinking heavily for the past 10 years. He is 60 years now. He can't live without alcohol. When my mother was alive, she used to control him on this. He became so addicted to alcohol only after my mom's death. My mom and dad were very good friends. My mom's death was a complete shock to my dad and all of us. We tried very hard to help him cope up with her death. A few years back, he lost his job due to his excessive drinking. I don't know how to make him stop drinking. One of my friends suggested taking him to a clinic in Toronto for alcohol addiction treatment. I took an appointment at the same clinic. But he is not willing to undergo the treatment. Can anyone suggest some ways to convince him for the treatment? Is there anyone here who had a similar situation with your parents? What did you do? Please share your insights!
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Old 02-13-2018, 02:06 PM   #2
Pat McDonald
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<sigh>

If your Dad doesn't want to "get better", he won't. If he misses his spouse that much. The nearest thing he can get to that is booze... which as you said, was a problem before, which your mother managed, until she died and couldn't manage it anymore.

What's your interest here? Do you want your Dad to go on and on so that you can "enjoy" what he provides?

I'm not asking for your answer, I'm pointing out that it's HIS choice, and you CANNOT MAKE THAT CHOICE FOR HIM.

I can't really comment on specifics, I'm not asking you to either, I'm just pointing out that you are asking for something that is ethically forbidden, under Guild Rules - involuntary change in another being. Might work in the short term, but the only person who can change your father's thinking permanently - is your father.

Sounds pretty shitty from your point of view, but hey, nobody gets an easy life with no tough choices. Parents are mortals. It's hard for kids to accept that fact, even harder for them to accept that they themselves one day will die...

... Whaddya want, some kind of flimsy lamebrain method that might keep him sober for a day or two? I'm not going to go there.

There are MANY kinds of therapy, but if your Dad doesn't want to heal up, there is absolutely nothing you or I or anybody else can do to make him want to heal up.

Short of showing him an alternative wife who will beat the shit out of him if he drinks again. Doesn't sound like an ideal relationship to me, but it's about all I can come up with, given the data you put into your post.
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